You speak to me daily and show up in flashes. I like when you are around but for some reason before you arrive I am always confronted by many of your adversaries and some of your friends. When we met it was just us, now I feel like I have to battle to enjoy you. I always wonder why. I don’t see how it’s possible that in my darkest moment of solitude it was you that comforted me and now that I am amongst others I find every reason to disregard you or minimize the affect you have on myself and my actions.
I am sometimes confused on how something I have had unconditionally for approximately 9 months to myself; I struggle to find and lost the concept of what you are within the first 9 years of my life. Before I even entered junior high school I was encountered by many versions of you and I had to learn to deal with not only you but everyone else as well.
You speak to me daily and your absence keeps me up at night. I think of plans not to find you but to keep you and allow you to be the reason behind all of my actions. You are a beauty to the eye, a joy to the soul, a foundation for the spirit, the focus amongst madness.
Passion, happiness, joy, your allies, expressed in many moments that make me and many smile. I find you at the foundation of it all and see you in those moments where those emotions are expressed. I am often met by adverse feelings when trying to find you in situations that are unfamiliar. Apprehension, hate, discontentedness, your adversaries that always show up every time I enter a new space without you. I have been taught to leave you behind because letting everyone know you are with me all of time will make me seem vulnerable.
LOVE, no one can survive without you, so we put conditions on you. You have become that high profile friend you try to keep away from others and we make people pay to see you. They pay with money, gift, gestures, opportunities, security, protection and moments of pleasure. We need a reason to introduce you to anything. You were once the main navigation we followed with our eyes closed blindfolded, knowing that following you will lead us where we want to go. Now we have you walk behind us and we only bring you places we see fit, if we remember to bring you at all.
You come in many forms Self-Love, Selfless-Love, Enduring Love, Familiar-Love, Affectionate-Love, Playful-Love and Erotic-Love. Even some are intoxicated by you and you drive them into a Manic-Love. Sometimes it is confusing to identify which one of you shows up at times, so in order to avoid confusion we just don’t acknowledge you at all. You are always present but often ignored. We have fun with you at night and forget about you in the morning.
In moments of intimacy you have a way of being the inspiration behind all actions. Love, birthed passion, affection, even eroticism and I will admit myself like most I try to enjoy the company of your children but do not like to invite you to our gatherings. How is that you, the most powerful emotion of all, the emotion that stands strong amongst all hate and doubt, an emotion that has saved and changed the world has become the most feared emotion to feel.
Sagittarius the Golden Child 