Be SELFish

If a tree falls and no one hears, did it make a sound? I am asking a question that I wonder about often. I am using this blog as a time to express some of my personal thoughts. I feel that as good as I listen and am willing to help others, I sometimes do not feel that I have anyone I can lean on. I have made it out of two years of depression; I used that time to express myself, become more of an open book and vulnerable with those who I seem to be close with. I wanted to do things different in hopes to be understood and in my understanding I will be able to communicate more freely with friends. I will admit today it didn’t change much at all.

I am no longer depressed I actually feel better than I ever have in my life. I have learned that “the greatest pain will lead to the greatest joy” meaning; the times of hurt will create the awareness, the circumstance and opportunity to build us to our greatest victory. “We enjoy the light because we cannot see in the dark.”

We are all selfish but we are afraid to admit it because of the stigma that comes with the word. If you pay attention to the actions of people you will become more aware of the selfish nature of people, even those who do so much to sell themselves as selfless.
Have you ever received a gift, a gesture or a favor from a loved one you did not ask for, nice right? Have you ever asked that person to do something you wanted the way you want it done? Pay attention to how many complaints or the ill attitude that comes when that “selfless” person actually gives someone something they wanted on their terms. I have noticed people will do things for others they feel the person needs and, they do it when they can. They lend money when they can afford it, and they are around when they want to be. This person is selfish by nature because even in giving they only do it on their terms. A true favor does not exist because one will always want compensation.

On the flip side those selfish-selfless people often lose themselves in what they do for others. They often do not take care of themselves the way they take care of others in shame that being selfish is not the way to live. I ask, how can one take care of another if they do not take care of themselves? How effective will they be, and for how long?

Some people on the other hand are selfish in the sense they only really care about their well-being and will make sure they are well even if it is at the expense of others. They will only do things on their terms or only when convenient. They will only give things they have no use for or if what they have is expendable. They find ways to do things for others but in the same way the Selfless-selfish person does (at best).

People will often frown at the selfish person, but I ask why? Why do we frown at someone who specializes in self-care? I admit, I do not agree with parasitical people who live at the expense of others. But they can only succeed due to the fact so many people in life lose sight of themselves. We should all find a way to enhance ourselves to our own optimal ability.

We are all Human beings living on planet earth and if we find ways to enhance our own abilities and still love one another, we will naturally help each other by helping ourselves. If we allow our children the room to focus on being the best they can be we allow them the space to grow, but we also show the nature of the cycle of life. They remember how it feels to be helped and pushed and when they are steadily declining from their peek, they too will help and show the next young child how to become the best them. We remember what people say, but we remember more what they do and we will never forget how that feels. If the young doctor takes care of himself he then will effectively take care of others; same with the plumber, the carpenter, the psychologist, guidance counselor or teacher. If we all find time to specialize in caring for ourselves first we will no longer be stressed about receiving validation from others because we are happy with who we are and all we do. We reach our own standard and give back to society by offering our service to the best of our ability. We in turn now become selfless by being selfish.
I can say in my state of mind today the more selfish I become, the happier I am and the more willing I am to do for others. No matter how small the gesture I am willing to do, at anytime, my goal is to help another be a step closer to feeling how I feel. It is only difficult when I am down and others still live in the world of “I don’t care about your selfishness, cater to my selfishness, please.” “Talk when I have time, or when I feel like talking or only about things I am into.” I must remember one can only find happiness if they are happy. Happiness is found within (Self). True validation will never come from someone else, others can only add to what one believes about themself. Find yourself and only then can you truly help others!

-Become Selfless by optimizing your Selfishness!

Sagittarius “The Golden Child”